- Raymond Holliwell
The inner thought coming from the heart represents the real motives and desires.
June 14, 2017Do you recognize that feeling that you get when you do things you would rather not do? The feeling of unrest in your head and the energy in your body when you think about what you would have loved to do instead? And yet you rationally decide that these things have to wait until you have got more time ...Guess what: you will never have more time. Even though you think you have got enough to do right now, there are still more things to be added: work, courses, birthday parties, meetings, our children's school activities, sports, and everything else that is important. You only learn how to work more efficiently and to manage your energy better to meet the day's end. Or not, and then you end with a burn-out.
Why else do you do what you do?There are times, during holidays, Christmas days or on an ordinary Sunday morning, when you accept the moment as it. Moments when you are totally done with the feeling of being overwhelmed with all the tasks, errands, and obligations. That you just do what you want to do. Nothing more, nothing less. No targeting goals, no extra tasks, no online availability, but just enjoying the little bit of spare time with doing the things you really want to do. Precious moments. The moments when you think: "I should do this more often". You tell yourself that you have to get your life better balanced, that you have to give these moments priority. Because: why else do you do what you do?
There you go againBefore you know you are back in the rat race. Gone are the intentions you made. You think that it is just temporary and accept it. Until you feel restless again, and realize that you will never have the life you want. Without that edgy feeling though, you could be satisfied with your life as it is. It is a busy life, but you are able to enjoy it like it is; maybe not every moment, but overall, it is good enough. Your feelings of unrest spoil this. It whispers into your conscience that you want a little bit more, a little bit different. You want to live like you have got in mind. Every day. This is an urge inside you, a drive, and it is part of human nature.
DecideWe are all driven to do what is needed to take away the restless feelings born out of not working on that what we really want. Your core drive is of importance when you make decisions, how you react, and the actions you do. If your days are filled with doing things that are personally not important for you, and it does not add long-term value to what you really want in life, then you feel unsatisfied and restless. Eventually, you have to make a decision how the rest of your life is going to look like (or for at least the following five years):
- by denial: you just keep going on what you are doing, because it is yet too busy to do something about it; or
- by acceptation: life is what is it, so you try to make the best out of it; or
- by change: you cut ties and take steps necessary to live the life you long for.
What motivates you?In het Engels wordt de drang “core human drives” genoemd. Volgens professoren Paul Lawrence en Nitin Nohria, auteurs van Driven: How Human Nature Shapes Our Choices, we are all driven by four core human drives:
- The drive to Acquire.
- The drive to bond.
- The drive to learn.
- The drive to defend.
- Josh Kaufman, the author of
- , stated a fifth drive that is part of the human core:
- The drive to feel.
Can you feel the drive?Every human being has more or less of any of these drives. If an action means something to you, when it touches your core drive, then you feel something after completing an action. Some examples:
- Satisfaction: when you have bought the latest smartphone.
- Warmth: when you have made an appointment to meet your best friends or arranged a weekend to spend time with your family.
- Excitement: when you have enrolled a new course, or have decided to spend the whole afternoon to read that new book.
- Safe: when you have installed a new fire alarm system for your house.
- Ecstasy: when you have boarded the plane to start your dream trip.